Part Three: Hitting 50 and still partying like it’s 1999
I was knocking on 50 by the time I was dragged into this period of sobriety, but had spent almost 4 years sober in the past. I didn’t really start drinking again thinking it was ‘ok’; I may have thought I could keep it in check, but it wasn’t long before it was more out of control than it had ever been.
A decade earlier, my sobriety had been spent committed to 12 steps, working a programme and attending meetings, but this time around that way of life neither appealed nor matched my priorities. I needed to focus on saving my relationship with my children, to find some way to thank my liver for not packing up on me and for being around for Mum. I did go to one AA meeting, attended SMART groups, kept every appointment made with treatment services and engaged in supported aftercare. At the same time I drew a lot of strength from the growing library of ‘quit-lit’, on-line resources, the ‘bad-ass’ female recovery movement in the US and a commitment to the wellbeing of my mind, body and spirit.
Overwhelmingly I realised that I do actually like to have fun! It was a revelation to me that I liked having fun, even if I wasn’t drunk. Having always been the drunken life and soul of the party, even having had a level of drunken-ness named after me, it was deeply rooted that I could only have fun under the influence of alcohol.
I quickly learned that I still like to dance sober too (ok, maybe badly), I like to laugh sober and I love being sociable sober. It was also glaringly apparent that society doesn’t fully embrace fun sober people. I offer you the example of the end of my joint 50th birthday party when I was pulled up by a guest for looking for my car keys to drive people home. The guest was genuinely perplexed that I could possibly have had so much fun; he had presumed I must be drunk.
Luckily for me hitting 50 has marked a period in my life when “zero f**ks” are being given and so I’ve worked at carving a life which includes doing all the things I love and that includes parties, dancing, meals out, concerts and all the other ‘normal’ stuff that ‘normal’ people do.
I just do it sober ☺
Continue Reading: Breadline to finish line.
Read Chapter: One | Two | Three | Four
About our author:
In her own words, Kathryn is:
An over qualified @drunk, sobering up with effect 11th February 2016. #Fitmummy to Elinor, Alys and Isaac; aspiring athlete with race goals to smash and shit heavy weights to lift; running freak and triathlete in training; passionate bore for all things health, wellbeing and nutrition related.
Eating clean in my narcissist-free zone; surviving domestic abuse and happily giving romance a whole fresh chance.
Nothing changes if nothing changes.
These are the days of my life.